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Lorelai: Breakfast! Get it while it's room temperature and nutrient-free!

Lorelai: Oh, hey, oh! Remember, people! Only pet the dog with your non-watch hand. In case you don't remember, watches cause him to freak out, jump up on the counter and kick my once-working toaster across the room.

Luke: Does the dog have to sit in the chair like that?
Lorelai: Like what? His posture's perfect.

Emily: They're stale. And the blueberries aren't even blue, they're red. My God, these blueberries are red!
Rory: They're raspberries.

Paris: I don't know the rules. I mean, obviously, the clothes have to come off for the actual sex part of the evening, but afterward, what are you supposed to do? I mean, nightgowns are obviously out, but wearing nothing seems extreme. And, in case of fire, completely impractical.

Lorelai: Actually, we're out of espresso.
Paris: You are?
Lorelai: Yes. Uh, we shut the machine down at three o'clock to give it a rest, 'cause it's Italian, so it's a little temperamental.

Emily: Who knew that behind such a sweet face lurked the soul of a spy?
Rory: I prefer the term 'woman of mystery and intrigue'.

Michel: Hey, I just received a call that the wedding party will not be getting in until midnight, and someone will need to be here to greet them. I would do it, but I don't want to.

Rory: No, I don't have that much training. No, their dance teacher has an inner ear infection, I'm just filling in. My job is to make sure nobody falls down.
Logan: And what if somebody does?
Rory: That's what the panic button is for.

Rory: Oh, so you, Colin and Finn didn't do a lot of cuddling in Europe?
Logan: Nah. Mostly just hand-holding.

Logan: Now, you realize if I show you mine you have to show me yours.
Rory: You saw mine about five minutes ago, mister.
Logan: Ah, I hate it when you work blue. Okay.

Rory: Logan. You can mention school to me.
Logan: I don't want to bum you out.

Rory: Oh - no, Logan! I didn't mean - no, I seriously meant that you hadn't seen the bedroom yet.
Logan: : You're making me feel cheap, Ace.
Rory: Logan! I swear, I wasn't working blue.

Gil: Martha's thirsty, guys.
Zach: I hate that he named his van.
Lane: I think it's cute.

Lorelai: Talking about how pretty I am again? Oh, get a new subject, boys.

Luke: The dog ate chocolate. And I don't know a lot about dogs, but I do know they shouldn't eat chocolate. I went to the animal hospital and they were closed and I called Babette nd she told me where you lived, and you gotta do something! Because this is not my dog, this is my fiancée's dog. She loves him. She named him Paul Anka, which may, on the surface, not seem like a sign of love but if you knew her you'd get it, and believe me, there's a lot of ways I could screw up this relationship, but I cannot lose her over the fact that I killed her dog.

Rory: I'm boring you.
Logan: Far from it, I just have to go. I have to meet with my faculty advisor and convince her that this is the year I'm finally going to make something of myself.
Rory: Well, don't tell her about the cheese-rolling incident. She'll never believe you.