Luke: Those are work boots.
Lorelai: They're yellow and cute. I'll look like the Morton's Salt girl.
Luke: How the hell did you find something to buy in my boat supply catalogue?

Lorelai: All right. I thought you were going to spend the evening trying to figure out how to fling yourself down the stairs just hard enough that you won't have to go to my parents' thing tomorrow, but not so hard that you actually die.
Luke: No, I thought instead that I'd try to find a wild boar to maul me just enough that I'll need medical attention so I won't be able to go to your parents' thing tomorrow, but after some stitches and a transfusion, I'll still be able to make you coffee.
Lorelai: Oh, much better plan.

Emily: When a woman gives birth to a crack baby you do not buy her a puppy.

Lorelai: Mom, I promise you, I have successfully walked in a straight line at least once before. I can get you the cop's name if you want to talk to him.

Lorelai: Stop her from getting a drink.
Rory: How?
Lorelai: Show her Nick Nolte's mug shot.

Kyon: What are we doing here?
Lane: I tried to explain it to her, but it's not working.
Rory: We are throwing my grandmother a bachelorette party.
Kyon: But she is married.
Rory: Yeah, but they're doing it again.
Kyon: But why?
Rory: Because they want to tell each other that they love each other all over again.
Kyon: But why?
Rory: Because they do.
Kyon: But why?
Rory: Because it's fun.
Kyon: But why?
Rory: Because - (she looks at Lane)
Lane: Hey, you lasted one more 'But why' than I did.

Lorelai: Hey, I wonder if my mother would notice if she and Dad were suddenly at different tables.

Lorelai: Hey, stop being such a Nancy-boy about the pants. Think Hemingway ever gave a crap what his pants looked like?
Luke: Hemingway blew his brains out, also. How much of a role model do you want me to make this guy?

Marilyn:Is he a gardener?
Lorelai: Uh, no, he owns a diner.
Marilyn: Oh, I've always wanted to have an affair with a gardener. Apparently that's very 'in' now.

Richard: Psst, Lorelai. I need you to do something.
Lorelai: Oh, spy voice. Cool.
Richard: Focus, please?
Lorelai: I am a camera.

Marilyn: So, tell me, Luke, have you ever considered being a gardener?
Luke: Uh, I'm not much good at growing things.
Marilyn: Oh, Luke. That's the least important part of being a gardener.

Luke: Oh my God, there's dancing?
Lorelai: Yeah. We're doing the one from Pulp Fiction. Do you want to be Uma, or should I?

Lorelai: My Aunt Totsy. Mmm. Lovely woman. She hugs you, you smell like her for a month.

Richard:When Lorelai was three, she went through a period of having chronic ear infections. It was terrible. Screaming all night long, we couldn't keep a nanny longer than a week.
Lorelai: Yeah, that was the terrible part. The searing pain was just a side note.

Lorelai: Please? I promise I will dance just as spazzy as you will.
Luke: I do not dance spazzy.
Lorelai: Then I will be the only spaz on the floor. Please?

Rory: Did you like it that she kissed you first?
Chris: Who could not like being kissed by a Gilmore girl? It was the greatest day of my life.

Rory: I'll just, um, let you go back to your table, and I'll just start burrowing directly into the ground.
Logan: Rory.
Rory: I should be in China by midnight.

Logan: Because you're special.
Rory: Special, like 'Stop eating the paste', special?

Logan: No strings attached, huh.
Rory: Hey, girls just wanna have fun. Stringless fun.

Logan: I feel like I'm kissing a guy.
Rory rolls her eyes and kisses him again.
Logan: And apparently I had no idea what I was missing.

Lorelai catches Logan and Rory making out.
Lorelai: Grandma wants a picture.
Rory: Of this?

Chris: Calm down? There's a guy in there pawing my daughter!
Luke: What guy? There's a guy in there with Rory?
Lorelai: Oh, my God, Luke!
Luke: Hey! Get your hands off her. I mean it. Right now! Hands in the air, I want to see hands in the air!

Lorelai: You and me, we're done.